"To Write Love On Her Arms" is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.
I know its a little late, but in support of this movement, I took some pictures of myself in a creative way. Also, this blogger inspired me to write my own blog of this movement. [Pictures were taken on the said date, 11/13/09, but uploaded just now]
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On this same day, my organization, Rotaract Club, held our fundraising entitled, "Wine Night Stand Season III: Cocktail Party For A Cause - where we had red and white wine. [I don't drink either, so I just helped myself to some of the food served...]
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Today is Sunday. Mom, my little sis and I went to the church. It was not so packed, because today is also the boxing fight of Manny Pacquiao (Philippines) and Miguel Cotto (Puerto Rico). I haven't watched it yet, but I'll catch up with the replay. Pacquiao won!!! Woot woot!
Anyway....the mass was good, I was especially inspired by what the priest said.
"Religion is for people who are afraid to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have been to hell."
I agree with this. There really is a difference. Praying and living one's own life for God isn't just about reciting prayers or asking favors or memorizing theologies and Bible passages. It is how you incorporate God's word into your life, making it as if God isn't just high up in the heavens, but living and burning with fire in our own hearts and souls.
I have been to hell and back, and that much I can say that life isn't easy. It's sometimes like a crazy boxing fight and maybe you win or you lose, but in the end, you still have hope in you. That everything might get worse than it already is, but to just keep on having hope and faith is already leading you to win.
One should live their lives to the fullest NOW, and not when the end is at hand. Because who knows? Tomorrow might be the end, or next year or the year after that. It is best to be prepared. ______
And oh, Indie Music! [Search them...great music, I tell you] -Noah and The Whale -The Shins -Iron and Wine -Pavement -They Might Be Giants
There are many reasons why I love kids. They're smart, they're cool, they're fun and most of all, they have this innocence about them that always render adults speechless, and make us think that they are wiser than even the most intellectual or educated people.
My mom related the following story of what "Virginity" means to my 9-year old sister.
One night, they were watching an old episode of Oprah interviewing Michael Jackson.
Oprah [to Michael]: "Are you a virgin?" (in other words: "Michael, have you had sex?")
Before Michael could answer, there was a commercial break. And then....
Nina, my sister [to my mom]: "Why? Doesn't Michael have a sin?" Mom: "What do you mean by sin?" Nina: Like you know, sin. The things that we do that are bad, that Jesus doesn't like." (She equates Virginity with Purity, not because she thinks virginity is related to anything sexual) Mom [bewildered]: "Of course Michael has sins." Nina: "Then why does Oprah still ask if Michael is a virgin?" Mom: [Stumped, mouth open, speechless...]
This was really sweet, and I couldn't stop laughing. Ah, kids! So damn smart and innocent at the same time. When I was my little sister's age, I already had at least an idea of what sex is. I started my period when I was nine, it was frightening.
So much innocence is lost in today's generation. How many teens these days are still virgins? Like, literally. How many young adults aged 20-25 are still virgins? If you aren't a virgin anymore, then you can still be pure. By giving love, by practicing kindness and by teaching others to do the same. I'd like to think that there are still people out there who are still virgins. Perhaps not in mind or body (because we do acquire a lot of knowledge, even impure ones), but in soul and in heart. ___
So, today I was in Facebook for a long time chatting with Brett. We talked about people, love, celibacy, high school and super heroes. And of course, God.
I saw on YouTube, a good friend who isn't speaking to me anymore. He has actually blocked me for reasons he has never explained. I'd like to still keep tabs on people I love and who've been my friends in this lifetime even if they're so far away now.
Also, there are only 55 pages left to go in my book, Catch-22. I'm wondering what I will read next: The Worthing Saga by Orson Scott Card or Selected Tales by Edgar Allan Poe. Totally undecided as of the moment.
Life's not perfect, but I'm good. I'm in love and I love my friends and people all over the world.
Quote of the day: "Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it." - Salvador Dali
"Squint your eyes and look closer I'm not between you and your ambition I am a poster girl with no poster I am thirty-two flavors and then some and I'm beyond your peripheral vision so you might want to turn your head cause someday you're going to get hungry and eat most of the words you just said"
I'm being introspective, as usual.
But I laughed out loud at the hilarious lines of the book I'm currently reading. I'm almost done with it.
And I swear I'm a hippie when I hear Ani DiFranco's 32 Flavors.
Everyday is an opportunity for me to become better. Today, I had a heart-to-heart talk with God. I think that prayer should never be neglected. It is powerful beyond measure. If something's bothering you, just talk to God. I'm pretty sure He would win the game for you.
Halloween was uneventful...except that we went to my grandmas' and she saw the ghost of her brother. The rest of us didn't see it.
I don't hate admitting this, but I'm kinda afraid. No, not the paranoid kind of fear, but I'm just afraid. I'm afraid of this Catch-22 clause that is my life.
"There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, which specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to."
This clause is equal to the many, many unrequited loves I have ever had. In fact, I never had the relationship I've always dreamed of. I've only been in one, and the rest are just illusions. If I express strong feelings for someone, then it is the process of a rational and emotional mind. It is normal. I'm deeply in love and I know I could be rejected. All I had to do was ask; and as soon as I did, there's always that big chance that I would be rejected and taken for granted. I would be crazy to do this over and over and over again and sane if I didn't. But if I was sane, then my heart would keep on falling (for humans are meant to find a mate). If I keep on falling and I keep on being rejected then I am crazy and didn't have to; but if I didn't want to fall in love, I am sane and had to.
Haha. Crazy isn't it? Sometimes I don't even get it.
People fall in love with people they hardly know and feel awkward to fall in love with those they already know a lot more than their own families. [Are men harder to understand than women?]
People around me are already in relationships, getting engaged, getting married...and most of them are even younger than me.
And I...I..I'm still stuck in this black hole.
Or maybe I was meant to be celibate. It's a tempting thought. Brett Fawcett is subconsciously trying to convert me to celibacy. But I kinda shudder at the thought because I knew I wouldn't live up to that. Haha.
And I am hellishly tired. When do I get to be the girlfriend? And not sister, friend, foe or teacher or counselor?
I'm the kind of person who easily gets to be close to a few people. No, I don't fall for every guy I get close to, but because of the closeness, it is painful that this person just sees you as a friend. And then if you get close to another person, that person also sees you as nothing more than just a friend.
I feel like Hermione (in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince) when she saw Ron flirting with other girls. That feeling when you've been so close with someone for years and you know that there's nothing you want more than to be with this person, to touch his face so gently, kiss his nose or cuddle with him, that you love him for who he is and not because he ought to be perfect, but because he is just as he should be.
"The only way to love is to realize that it might be lost."
I'm a giver. When I love, I love the person as a whole package. I don't really mind anymore whether they have all the qualities that I want in a partner, but I think of the person as a whole.
And this goes out to friendships, not just romance.
When you love a person, you have to take care of that person. You're not just there for the ride, but your friend is also your responsibility. You have to take care of them because friendships and even romantic relationships are fragile - it could disintegrate. You have to appreciate and value them everyday and never let them feel as if you underestimate them. I'm learning to be more gentle, patient and compassionate with people these days, and I want to be this kind of woman, so that when the man I love will finally love me back, I will also teach him to be more gentle, patient and compassionate to me and to everyone else.
And something that Erich wrote in his blog..I wouldn't want it any other way. He wrote, "The most loving thing that a person can say is this: "I love you enough to be tough on you. I love you enough to tell you the things about myself that you don't want to hear. I love you enough to tell you the things about yourself that you don't want to hear. I love you so much that I will say things that might make you not love me anymore, not because I don't want you to love me, but because you deserve not to be lied to. I love you enough to be honest with you, at my own expense and even sometimes at yours. I love you enough that I want you to love me for what I am, not for what I have made you think I am." ___
And I think that I shall not worry about this too much. Let God take care of this. It's not impossible.
Le sigh.
This has been on my mind as of late and I'm sorry if I am burdening my readers.
This is my introspective side.
But meh, I digress.
I have to stop being so emo or else you'd all get bored.
I'm still working on my horror story. And...I found new music in Myspace. Yay! Thanks to Daniel McCurry's band and Johanna Chase. I have their songs in my Myspace Playlist which I playfully called, "Intellectual Masturbation." ___
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Ah, kids! So damn smart and innocent at the same time. When I was my little sister's age, I already had at least an idea of what sex is. I started my period when I was nine, it was frightening.
