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c_jamaica
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Name: Carmel Jamaica
Country: Philippines
Metro: Cebu
Birthday: 1/20/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Jesus, Friends, Africa, Orphans, Music, Cats, History, Psychology, Deep Conversations, Writing, Thinking, Laughter, Critical Thinking, Reading, Sarcasm, Being Different, Sword Fights, Italy, Vintage, The Moon, Rainy Afternoons, Wandering, http://www.xkcd.com, http://www.youtube.com
Expertise: Criticical Thinking, The Arts, Crafts
Industry: Healthcare - Nursing
Message: message me
Member Since:
1/13/2005
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| Why Am I In Twitter? It's NOT What You Think.So, as I was checking Myspace, I saw that one of my favorite bands, "Augustana" had a Twitter account. I added them to my friends' list there, but it seems that they really are not paying particular attention (Yeah, right. Who am I kidding? They'd pay attention to me?!) to my awesome, but original comments. And just then, I saw that they had advertised themselves having a Twitter account.
The brutal truth # 1: I hate Twitter. The fact that I promised myself never to make one is killing me.
The brutal truth # 2: I made a Twitter account not because I wanted to follow Augustana.
The brutal truth # 3: I made a Twitter account because I wanted to talk to somebody. He has been evading me and I simply cannot bear this unbearable sadness anymore. I hate it when you are aware that somebody sort of "hates" you. It's not that I can really do anything about it, but I'm a stubborn cat. It's either I will find a way or make one. That's part of being such an idealist. Dang it! It is my curse at times. I hate that I am still affected by what some people did to me a month ago, and what irritates me the most is that they claim to be lovers of Christ.
I hate it when people claim to be following Christ's ways and they practically ignore the hurting person right in front of them! Hypocrites!
They're cowards too.
Do you even know what it is like to hug children with scabies on their skin, or to hug people when you know they have this contagious disease? Do you even know what it is like to cry knowing that I am much better off than other people and there are even people who don't have slippers on their feet?
I have done those things. I hurt when they are hurt. I try to love when they try to hate. I try to be a friend when they try to be a foe....
And what has this gotten me? Nothing. I was not worthy in their eyes. This particular family. And to think that we were once friends. And yes, we had conversations, we shared secrets and we laughed.
The pain is gone now. In fact, all pain from what they have done is gone. But the aftermath of it is, I still feel sad over what happened and it doesn't help that I encounter a lot of things that reminds me of them.
Though the best thing is to accept that they are mean and that they don't even deserve to be my friends anymore, that damn curse (idealistic nature) in me is encouraging me to try again. Just to talk.
For I believe in this, "People need loving the most who they deserve it the least."
Each time you laugh,
someone in the world is crying.
Each time you wake up,
someone in the world is dying.
So, what are you going to do about it?
Love. Love and love until it hurts no more...that's the only best possible way.
(For those of you who wish to understand that curse I was telling you about - Click Here and scroll down to the "Characteristics" part)
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| Non Oblitus.In English, it means, "Do Not Forget Me."
I found this "survey" thingie from Decembriel's blog entry and I ought to have posted this in a bulletin in Myspace, but I figured I won't anymore let my friends there suffer from my innumerable bulletin posts.
Three words that describe your life: -Spontaneous -Intellectual -Extremes of both bliss and depression
Four turn-ons for you: -Spontaneity -Intelligence -Honesty -Able to understand the deepest darkness of the soul.
Five ways to win my heart: -When you say (or type) my name when I least expect it. -When you can laugh about our flaws and still be friends even if we disagree on some things. -When you can share to me the deepest part of yourself. That takes courage.
-Say something hilarious. Could be a line from a song or a movie - when I least expect it, to express
how you feel. -Be a dork.
Seven things that cross your mind a lot: -Cat conversations -The depths of the abyss -Broadway musicals -The intricate relationships between friends -Love (and God)
-Truth -Science
How I Like:
1. Weather - Neutral. I prefer rain, if possible rather than too much heat. I also like dark gray clouds.
2. Eggs - Sunny side-up or omelet. It doesn't really matter.
3. Movies - Horror, Thriller/Suspense, Science Fiction, Murder Mysteries, Classical ones and occasionally some Inspirational movie like "The Power Of One". The setting's in Africa and the songs are very beautiful. I highly recommend this one.
4. Showers - Warm water would be good and some fragrant soap and shampoo.
5. Sex - Hot and loving; wild and slow. But of course, I'm waiting til my wedding night to do this.
6. Parties - I'm not much of a party gal, but I do dance whenever I'm invited.
7. Drinks - Sprite, Coke/Pepsi, Water and Fruit Juices. I hate beer though I drink once or twice just to please some people. But I hate it.
8. Hair - I like my hair. Shoulder-length and kind of wavy. For men, I really have no preference at all.
9. Dates - "Take me somewhere spontaneous."
10. Kisses - Soft, slow, hard, fast, serious, cute, sensual.
11. Cars - I'm not much of a car person, but I'd very much like to have a convertible. But not the Beetle kind. Anything but that. And oh, I like the color black or blue for my car.
12. Clothes - I mix and match my clothes; I have my own personal style that depends on my mood.
13. Music - My musical taste is so wide, it stretches as long as the Great Wall Of China.
14. Bed - This is where I would like to rest or think deep thoughts. Any bed would do as long as it is soft.
15. Airplane Seat - Preferably next to the window so I can watch how the clouds hang in the sky like puppets without strings.
16. Sunday Afternoon - At the mall with my family, or in my room reading a good book.
17. Steak - With garlic and onions.
18. Vacations - Anywhere around the world...except I haven't done that yet.
19. Coffee - I prefer mocha frappucinos. But if it's just coffee, I'd like cream and sugar in mine.
20. Friends - Preferably few friends who are willing to go deeper into our souls with me. I also like intelligent ones, honest, kind and those who could dare to look goofy without being embarrassed.
21. Porn - "'Tis the death of real sex and the damnation of deep conversation."
22. Books - I read everything; from Classic Literature, to Award-Winning Novels, to Non-Fiction and even Science-Fiction. Everything, except I don't think I will ever read Lord Of The Rings. It just about bores me. I prefer Harry Potter over that.
23. Workouts - I don't do work outs. I run, hike and jog to humor my mother for telling me to lose weight, but I really do those for fun.
24. Movie Endings - I like unpredictable movie endings. Something that I would never have expected.
25. Gadgets - I have two favorites. The first is my camera and the second is my Ipod shuffle. It's small and it could fit in my pocket and I can bring it anywhere with me.
26. Boobs - Eh, I don't care much for those. But I'm thankful to have boobs like mine.
27. Pizza - Italian is the best. With lots of mozarella cheese.
28. Girls' Public Hair - Should be trimmed, not shaved. Duh. Same as for men.
29. Oysters - I don't have anything to say about them.
30. Video Games - I grew up with a kid named Eric, he was our neighbor and he had a play station. Me and my sister would go to his house to play video games. The only game I ever recall that we played the most is DragonBall.
31. Chicken - Fried.
32. Milk - I used to drink fresh milk everyday. Now, I only use it for cereals.
33. Humor - Jim Carrey's humor.
34. Computer Desktop - Doesn't matter as long as it is organized.
35. Ice Cream - Mocha, Chocolate or Vanilla. And preferably with nuts.
36. Dirty Talk - With my future spouse. I do say the S word or the F word at unguarded moments. And when writing my short stories.
37. Peanut Butter - In my bread, or in Reese's Peanut Butter cups.
38. Bagels - I believe I've never had one. Or if I did, it was a different name.
39. Snacks - Pizza or chips.
40. Women - Can be quite catty, so I prefer men.
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| A Sexy Prologue."I don't know where I got the title for this bulletin, I sure made this up. But I like it!"
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I hate redundancy, but I just can't think of a good title for this. And that's really a lame excuse, for a writer like me.
Anyway, I quoted myself (above), because this title is the same one I posted in a Myspace bulletin.
For the past hour, I was searching for this book, "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream" by Harlan Ellison, only to find out that it is not available here, and I can only get that by ordering through Amazon and it is quite expensive. I tried researching for a "copy" of it somewhere and I finally found one in PDF format, though I'm not sure if it is really accurate. A friend of mine has recommended it to me, and as I have this thirst for literature, I wanted to read it. It's actually a science-fiction short story and I just learned that the books of this author are rare finds.
I've been thinking a lot lately about this said friend. He hasn't responded. He disappeared and though I could just as easily say, "To hell with him!", I could not. He's a really good friend and I cannot anymore ignore the people who've been a part of my life by letting it die, just as I had let some good friendships die in the past years. This is a turning point for me because I used to think only of myself and my dark thoughts, but now I want to do things right and I hope that things would be good again.
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I recently reconnected with a childhood friend. We were neighbors when we were kids and he's now in the U.S and he hopes to visit Cebu again next year. Perhaps we could hang out.
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I've been having strange dreams last night and the other night as well. Something like murder and monsters. I cannot recall the exact details. I wonder what it means. I'm a self-confessed insomniac. Also, I'm a vampire. I'm awake at night and sleep during the day.
It is dark now. I'm alive and alone in my thoughts.
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| A Facebook Quote.A not-so-close friend schoolmate from High School posted this one:
"Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid."
And I, being the lover of cynicism and sarcasm, couldn't help but grin at this.
Of course, I had to add this to my ever-growing collection of quotations.
And oh!
Because I have the means of morphing myself into either a cat, a ninja, a vampire, an alien,
Jack Sparrow, or Sherlock Holmes, here's a little something, something:
Great thanks to google for these pictures.
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| Perspectives.As some don't know this, my father is a journalist. Specifically, he is the editor-in-chief of one of the most prestigious local papers we have in Cebu. It's also embarrassing to say that I don't really read his columns, as most of them are about politics. However, there are a few that I'd like to quote him on, and here is an excerpt of what he thinks of MJ's death. Take note that this is his own perspective.
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Frankly speaking, the death of the pop icon (some called him king) Michael Jackson did not strike me in the same way that the killing of John Lennon did. Indeed, the death of Princess Diana probably made me more unsettled.
Maybe because the deaths of John Lennon and Princess Diana were far more senseless than the death of Michael Jackson. Lennon was shot by a crazed person and Diana died in a car crash in the middle of a high speed pursuit by crazy paparazzi.
Lennon was probably just as eccentric as Jackson was. But there was a certain sincerity in the way he projected his eccentricity that people realized that was just the way he was. In Lennon, people saw that all great beauty had some strangeness in the proportion.
I believe that in John Lennon and in Princess Diana, people all over the world felt they truly lost a person. In the case of Michael Jackson, people merely lost an icon. And there is a whale of a difference in that.
Of course, I may be a little biased since I am a Sixties man....
The songs of Michael Jackson may electrify you to the point of dancing. And there is great power in that. It is this great power that drove people to make his "Thriller" album the greatest seller of all time.
But pray tell what song or tune Jackson has in his vast repertoire that can equal, much less surpass, the beauty, the grace, and the raw power of Lennon's "Imagine"? The difference between the two is that Jackson has great songs, but Lennon had great music.
And this is why I go back to what I said earlier, that when John Lennon died, the world lost a real person, but when Michael Jackson died, we merely lost an icon. And that explains the great disparity I noticed in the public reaction to both losses.
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Unrelated to this, I have made my own perspectives on some things:
1. I deleted some of my subscriptions, as I want to subscribe only to those whose writings I can relate and interest me. However, I still retained them in my friends' list.
2. I decided to unblock the people I have blocked before. In all the years I've been here in Xanga, I noticed I have blocked about 5 people. And with just one click of my mouse, I unblocked them. I have learned lately that you don't have to close your doors to people just because some of them made you feel uncomfortable, or because you are pissed at them or something. They're still people, and they have every right to say what they want to say even if I don't agree with them. And I'm not saying I'm a very positive person. I can get cynical and furious, but I realized blocking them would not be fair. And I am a Christian. My door isn't locked. Sometimes it is closed, and at times it is ajar. But never locked.
3. Connection is important to me, so I've recently been very meticulous in my e-mail address book, saving e-mail addresses and phone numbers. Who knows? You might really need some help someday, or like there'd be some reunions and trust me, getting in touch is very, very important.
Well, that's it.
Adieu for now.
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